allthingslinguistic:

youngmaam:

inspired by the regional gothic trend (transcript)

• /b/ is a bilabial stop. Your lips have stopped working. You can’t open your mouth. You can’t breathe. You can’t even make a bilabial nasal. Air and lips and teeth and breath are all imaginary.
• Time flies like an arrow. Where have all the time flies gone? Why is this banana shaped like an arrow? The fruit flies know. The fruit flies are not telling.
• You don’t grammaticality judgements anymore. Perhaps you never did.
• BE RELEVANT say the stars. DO NOT SAY THAT WHICH YOU BELIEVE TO BE UNTRUE says the moon. BE BRIEF (AVOID UNNECESSARY PROLIXITY) says the void.
• You saw someone with a telescope. Was it your telescope? Was is their telescope? The telescope sees you. The telescope will not harm you. Probably.
• This is a wug. Now there is another one. Now there is another one. Now there is another one. Now there is another one. Now there is another one. Now there is another one. There is a vast army of wugs and they are coming for you.
• A hooded figure approaches you. “So you’re a linguist…how many languages do you know?” You know there is no point in explaining. No one understands. No one will ever understand.