1spoonatatime:

I’ve been trying to make some quiet time into my day, every day, for a little while. I don’t always remember, and the timing is random and not always consistent, but it helps to ground me.

My quiet times have been during acupuncture, meditating, writing what I’m grateful for, or just thinking before I go to sleep. It’s soothing to me to just think and pray and have that just-to-myself time that’s sorta spiritual, too. I’m a Christian, but especially since I’ve struggled to find a church (I cannot tolerant churches who don’t condemn hatred, including acts of homophobia, racism, transphobia, sexism, etc., because we are meant to fight for others and love them fiercely and wholly), this time has been good.

I get wrapped up in worrying about things daily. What will my health look like in a year, where will I work, will I work at all, am I going to lose my healthcare, why are there so many hateful people in the world, why can’t I do more to help? If you worry as I do, I will tell you this; it’s okay to feel that fear, anger, and hurt, and while it’s important to fight for change in your personal life and in the world, it is just as important that you care for yourself, whatever that looks like.

I still will worry. However, in the quiet, I remember and am reminded that, ultimately, we are here to connect with and love others. Those are the things that matter. I am trying to learn to pour into others more, to show more compassion and love, while I’m also learning how to love myself.