sherlock-overflow-error:

Tip: This Valentine’s Day, don’t be romantic. Be Romantic! Recite Lord Byron

on the edge of a barren cliff! Feel the gusts of the thunderstorm blow through your hair as you sob! Become a reclusive poet who trusts no one and is only seen at 2 am, wandering half-dressed through the streets and muttering in Old High German! Drown your lonely heart in laudanum and die at age 34 of tuberculosis, martyrdom in a small and ill-fated revolution, or wasting away from a disease that makes you look wan but poetic! Forget “forever alone”: You’ll always have your haunting past, your wasted ambitions, and the melancholy of a life unlived to keep you company!

thefloatingstone:

sapper-in-the-wire:

people today with access to more raw information than any other period: the earth is flat

german artilleryman in 1916, who barely washes his own ass: I need to account for the curvature and rotation of the earth when plotting my firing plans

Eratosthenes, an Egyptian, in 3750 BC when fucking mammoths hadn’t even gone extinct yet: Oh hey I can use these two obelisks to calculate the earth’s entire circumference based on
the length of their shadows

and the Earth’s curvature. Neat.

airyairyquitecontrary:

literaryreference:

wendycorduroy:

wendycorduroy:

i hate when people write out jessie and james’ wedding because it’s never in character. like ok. first of all, james would not be in a fucking tux. james would be in a dress, and jessie would get PISSED that his dress is nicer than hers, and it would be this fucking clusterfuck of them dress shopping and trying to find the perfect dress chemistry where they both look flawless and james is only a notch below jessie in excellence because duh she has to be the star.

their vows would be a variation of the motto, absolutely no question

meowth would be so happy that he accidentally starts evolving and jessie and james break their fucking kiss to B-button him like BUDDY, BUDDY, GROUND YOURSELF CMON YOU DONT WANT THAT before hes like SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK

giovanni would show up at the wedding and shake their hands. “good evening james. you’re fired.” “yes, i know, boss.” “well, enjoy the rest of your night.”

meowth and wobbuffet would drink WAY too much at the reception, obviously the best man and maid of honor, meowth would drunkenly break into tears while he’s giving his speech about how ‘jimmy’s da best, i really owe my life ta that goiy!’ wobbuffet also crying, agreeing with everything he says, so nansu so nansu so nansu.

how do people fuck up the rocket wedding when it’s the easiest thing to imagine

ash and every fucking twerp shows up to it, completely in disbelief but feeling an obligation. every single fucking one of them gifts the trio a different pikachu plushie or other pikachu merch. eventually they have a kid and she runs around in a pikachu onesie that misty bought for jessie years ago.

There was a brief but intense period in my misspent youth in which I read a lot of Pokemon fanfiction, and it was always so weird to me that there was a lot of Manly Man James and Delicate Flower Jessie having Serious Romance Novel Adventures with Traditional Gender Roles. This is much better.

“To protect our hearts from devastation
To unite our lives with this celebration
To recite long vows about truth and love
To fling confetti to the stars above

Team Rocket, get married at the speed of light!
Leave presents and cash on the table to the right.”

“Me – me – meow – WAAAAAAAHI’MSOHAPPYFORYOUSEGUYS”