bogleech:

bogleech:

flower urchins are such fanciful magical looking animals and the most whimsical part of all has to be the part where if you touch those pretty little cups you die horribly

Really though what fucker even programmed the ocean

Rarely attacks in open water unless provoked, more interested in other NPC creatures

No interest in attacking player character, rarely even encountered

Zero combat capability

Befriendable

Befriendable

ONE HIT PERMADEATH

elletromil:

c-has-a-blog:

cute-n-lazy-femme:

shennanigoats:

sunspotpony:

ranma-official:

omgweatherunderground:

steelplatedhearts:

sourcefieldmix:

good idea: marry a blacksmith so you can get free swords whenever 

Better idea; become a miner and then marry a blacksmith so he can have the required materials for you to get free swords whenever. 

Make a harem and marry a full production chain

Monopolygamy.

I mean, if your harem is full of blacksmiths would that make it a polyhammerous relationship?

You could make a whole polyarmory

@steelplatedhearts they did beautiful things to your joke

@sententiousandbellicose

solarcat:

xain-russell:

xain-russell:

Dragon: “HALT TRAVELER! THIS BRIDGE IS UNDER MY CONTROL! PAY THE TOLL OR CROSS THIS RIVER ELSEWHERE!”

Knight: “Nay foul beast! These are the lands of men! I shall pay no such toll, and what’s more I shall slay you rid this land of your tyranny!”

Dragon: “TYRANNY!? FOOLISH MAN! THIS BRIDGE IS OVER A HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND IN DIRE NEED OF REPAIRS! THE STONES ARE ERODING AND THERE ARE TERMITES IN THE WOOD!”

Knight: “… what?”

Dragon: “I GIVE THIS BRIDGE ANOTHER FIVE YEARS BEFORE IT COLLAPSES! I’D RATHER AVOID THAT AND PREVENT SOME POOR HUMAN FROM GETTING HURT!

Knight: ”…“

Dragon: “THE TOLL IS TEN GOLD PIECES.”

Knight: “… Okay.”

Dragon: “ALSO, DOWN THE ROAD, A FRIEND OF MINE IS RAISING FUNDS TO FIX A FARMER’S ROOF! IF YOU COULD ASSIST THEM AS WELL WE’D BE VERY GRATEFUL!”

THIS FUCKING THING GOT OVER 250 NOTES IN LESS THAN A DAY WHAT THE HELL.

Tumblr appreciates a good fable about the importance of tax revenue to provide civil services and maintain infrastructure.