Tag: a Great Tragedy

editorincreeps:

Text: “Don’t eat all the pecans, I’m making a pie later.”

Me, a fool, eating all of the pecans: “Sorry, stolen phone. No idea who this is.”

“I’m serious.”

“Okay,” I eat the last of them, “No problem.”

I run to the store. I have a meeting in an hour, the store is 5 minutes away. Plenty of time.

“Excuse me? Where are the pecans?”

“Oh, we ran out like an hour ago.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Yeah. Maybe Other Store.”

I go to the other store. They are also out. I try a third store. I am pleading with vendors, I am thrust into the spiral of shame and horror as the curse of hubris and my love of snacks dooms me. I am bereft of the last vestiges of humanity, left to wander the streets, a mad ghoul, mumbling about unmeetable needs.