Tag: if only

theonion:

To see more unmatched reporting, visit theonion.com.

thesubtlewitch:

My 1 am brain read this as house haunting and I was so pumped for like .3 seconds

theonion:

FEC Implements One-Year Break Between All Presidential Terms As Reprieve For Weary Nation 

After enduring a presidential campaign cycle that can exceed two years, as well as ceaseless media coverage of whichever politician is currently occupying the nation’s highest post, citizens become so tired and depressed that, according to FEC officials, a president-free period of 12 months must be built into the calendar so the electorate has sufficient time to recover.

“The complaint we receive most frequently from voters is that they feel completely drained going through presidency after presidency without any kind of break,” said FEC chair Ann M. Ravel, explaining that the ideal for many citizens would be a year’s reprieve from all presidential press conferences, any photograph taken inside or outside the White House, or ever hearing the word “president” spoken aloud. “These off years will allow Americans to rest and regain their bearings before having to endure another four-year cycle of the same old photo ops, talking points, and stalemates with Congress.”

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